The medical journal of australia

C H R I ST M A S O F FE R I N G S
hristmas Competitio
eading my emails in the lead-up to the Christmas season, I being punctual. They will offer me the job straight away if I send find myself asking, Has everyone got a generous big them my bank details so they can transfer my commission without Rbrother out there, or am I the lucky one? I have reason to delay. It looks like they mean business, and the appointment believe that somebody is watching me and knows every tiny detail process is nothing like where I work! Maybe I will wait till I come Of the 60 or so emails I receive daily, only a few are from people It’s amazing how word gets around. How did they know that I who have no concern about my wellbeing. For example, there have erectile dysfunction? I do hope my doctor (or wife again) has could be one from the Medical Journal of Australia asking me to not dobbed me in. It’s hard to understand why a drug that is review an article within 3 days. They could not care less if my wife supposed to help with erectile dysfunction is called “soft” Viagra.
is sick or my daughter has an exam. Then there is the last reminder Another email is about plain Viagra — ordering it is fast and The Medical Journal of Australia ISSN: 0025- from the College about my annual sub fee. The bank secure. A third email offers me a discount on these tablets.
But I love the next email. It says if I try a certain drug I will forget all my failures in life. (Like the five attempts at the ails are from well wishers and fellow human Fellowship?) Should I wait till I come back from Spain before beings. For example, there is one from a friend who is the orphan ordering it? I am in a real fix. The cheaper version of the drug of an African cocoa and gold magnate. His father told him on his promises that all my dreams will come true and that I will win my deathbed about the 5.6 million American dollars and gold deposits game. I wonder if they know that I am not the sporty kind! It also in a US bank. Now that he has turned 21 he is able to get hold of promises to harmonise my feelings (whatever that means!). Even the money, with my help. All I need to do is start an account in before I bought it I had an offer of refills.
Australia. With the 10% my brother is promising me from this And how did they know I don’t have a PhD? A recent email deal, my financial worries will be over. I could retire early and even reminds me that the only thing stopping me from getting a better go to Ivory Coast to have a holiday and meet him.
job and better pay is not having a PhD. (No doubt my wife But things are not that simple. I have another friend in the contacted them.) Apparently they found a loophole in the regula- Middle East who says he found my name through “top personnel tions, and if I send the money straight away, the PhD can be mine in society and in aid groups”. He reassures me that the petroleum in 2 weeks. Moreover, no study is required, so I can go to Spain company he is working for is loaded. So he over-invoiced the company and has transferred 27.5 million dollars to a bank in the The only thing they have not found out about is my baldness. I US. He would love to meet me in a neutral country like Spain to am still waiting for that email with the quick remedy. Hope it’s not see how he can transfer the money to Australia. He will pay me All these emails have restored my faith in humanity. I am I have decided to take the second option, as I would like to go to thankful to you, my brothers (and sisters), for thinking about me Spain. I have asked him to organise my flights. I could take my and for your desire to help me. All my Christmases have come at once! Merry Christmas to all my correspondents. I look forward to An external auditor of a bank in Africa wants to have a a prosperous, healthy, funfilled and happy new year with your partnership with me. He has found $95 000 in an account and would love to transfer it to Australia. If I send him my account (Received 18 Oct 2005, accepted 31 Oct 2005) number, the money can be transferred the next working day and Iwill receive 40% of the amount. He will look after the legal andbanking issues. I wish we had banks like that here! Teaching and research are not well remunerated. My wife was keen for me to do some extra work. Fortunately, the following joboffer came: “Requirements for work with us: age from 20 till 60years, inhabitant of Australia, opportunity of Internet connection,opportunity to check email not less than 3 times a day, the bankaccount in Australia, the responsibility, accuracy and punctuality,knowledge of the basic purposes of household and office technicalequipment”. It seems I have all the essential qualifications except Centre for Medical Professional Development, John Hunter Hospital, New Lambton, NSW.
Balakrishnan R Nair, FRACP, FRCP, Director and Clinical Professor of Medicine. Reprints will not be available from the author. Correspondence: Professor Balakrishnan R Nair, Centre for Medical Professional Development, John Hunter Hospital, Locked Bag 1, New Lambton, NSW 2305. Kichu.Nair@newcastle.edu.au MJA • Volume 183 Number 11/12 • 5/19 December 2005

Source: https://www.mja.com.au/system/files/issues/183_11_051205/nai10900_fm.pdf